Do you ever imagine what life would be like if you believed the truth about yourself? Not just knew of it, but really believed the truth?
I know Jesus loves me. I have a supportive family and encouraging friends. Psalm 139 is basically tattooed on my brain. I should be fine, right? But I'm not. Through my actions, I'm constantly asking people to answer the question, "Do I matter?", "Am I worth it?". The value I get (or don't get) from people seems calculable and more real than value in God's eyes. You can measure it by Instagram likes, compliments, invitations to hang out...
Regardless of who I ask to answer the question, their answers eventually disappoint. Friends, parents, bosses can't answer it. Even I can't satisfy my own question. I'm way too shifty. In my eyes, my worth is a variable value. It rises or decreases, depending on whether I'm being productive or lazy, or being social or staying comfortable in my wallflowerish personality. (yes, I made up that word.)
Do I really want to live like that? Hell no. But I do, and I end up feeling like a super sucky Christian/friend/daughter/human when I let myself or other people measure my worth.
Well maybe I'm crazy, but I don't think humans can determine human worth.
"The winds and sea obey him." (Matthew 8:28)
He said, "Let there be light, and there was." (Genesis 1:3)
He raised men from the dead. (John 11:43-44)
He can turn evil into good. (Genesis 45:5)
He knows everyone's secrets and gives mercy and grace. (2 Samuel 12:13; 22:33)
How can I not believe what he says about me? God's love and acceptance is a bigger deal than any rejection I've ever felt. If I would let him, he could erase every thought that I need to be enough for other people. I KNOW THIS. Do I want to believe it?
I have to believe Him who I cannot see. If I could see him, what's to believe in? Hope is the certainty of things unseen. In his Word, he promises me that I'll never be cut off from his love. (Romans 8:38-39) He calls me his child, which means duh, I matter in his book!
My head knows that my worth, my beauty, my very breath comes from God. I've heard it all my life. But if my heart doesn't believe it, Jesus remains an invisible and childish myth with no authority.
I believe. God, help my unbelief!
I know Jesus loves me. I have a supportive family and encouraging friends. Psalm 139 is basically tattooed on my brain. I should be fine, right? But I'm not. Through my actions, I'm constantly asking people to answer the question, "Do I matter?", "Am I worth it?". The value I get (or don't get) from people seems calculable and more real than value in God's eyes. You can measure it by Instagram likes, compliments, invitations to hang out...
Regardless of who I ask to answer the question, their answers eventually disappoint. Friends, parents, bosses can't answer it. Even I can't satisfy my own question. I'm way too shifty. In my eyes, my worth is a variable value. It rises or decreases, depending on whether I'm being productive or lazy, or being social or staying comfortable in my wallflowerish personality. (yes, I made up that word.)
Do I really want to live like that? Hell no. But I do, and I end up feeling like a super sucky Christian/friend/daughter/human when I let myself or other people measure my worth.
Well maybe I'm crazy, but I don't think humans can determine human worth.
"The winds and sea obey him." (Matthew 8:28)
He said, "Let there be light, and there was." (Genesis 1:3)
He raised men from the dead. (John 11:43-44)
He can turn evil into good. (Genesis 45:5)
He knows everyone's secrets and gives mercy and grace. (2 Samuel 12:13; 22:33)
How can I not believe what he says about me? God's love and acceptance is a bigger deal than any rejection I've ever felt. If I would let him, he could erase every thought that I need to be enough for other people. I KNOW THIS. Do I want to believe it?
I have to believe Him who I cannot see. If I could see him, what's to believe in? Hope is the certainty of things unseen. In his Word, he promises me that I'll never be cut off from his love. (Romans 8:38-39) He calls me his child, which means duh, I matter in his book!
My head knows that my worth, my beauty, my very breath comes from God. I've heard it all my life. But if my heart doesn't believe it, Jesus remains an invisible and childish myth with no authority.
I believe. God, help my unbelief!
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